A VERWOOD author who re-wrote some of Shakespeare’s classics in “yoof-speak” for the text generation has done the same for Charles Dickens.

One of literature’s most famous opening sentences – the start of A Tale of Two Cities, now renamed Da Tale of Two Turfs – now begins: “It was da best of times, and not being funny or nuffing, but it was da worst of times, to be honest”.

Martin Baum’s take on Oliver Twist – or Oliva Twist – translates the orphan’s famous line “Please sir, can I have some more?” to “Oi mate, gimme some more!”

Other works that have been rendered into “chav-speak” include Da Christmas Carol, Well Good Expectations, Barney Rudge, Da Pickwick Papers and Da Well Suss Mystery of Edwin Drood.

Martin has shortened 16 Dickens novels for his book, Oi, Mate Gimme Some More!

His take on Shakespeare, called To Be Or Not To Be, Innit, has sold around 10,000 copies.

Martin, 50, from Verwood, wrote most of the latest book in his Bournemouth beach hut.

How Martin has rewritten the start of a Tale of Two Cities

“It was da best of times, and not being funny or nuffing, but it was da worst of times, to be honest.

“Da year was 1775 and fings were looking well suss in da French turf coz da peasants were minging, or rather they was revolting, and not just coz they was Frogs, innit.”

And how the beginning of Oliver Twist sounds...

“Hundreds of years ago da England turf was full of badass hoodies, living on da frontline and giving it loads. Dese geezas were well tasty... and larging it big time.

“Oliva’s life was so screwed after his muvva popped him out of da womb and then came over all dead.

“Even his own farva had legged it, da swine, which meant that not only was da poor kid up da creek without da paddle, but dere was no other choice but to dump him in da workhouse for unwanted nippas and it sucked.”

He sought help from his son Josh, 15, and his mates for some of the terminology.

“When you try and get kids into literature they often just don’t get it,” he said. “This is aimed at breaking some of the barriers and making some of the text less intimidating while still retaining the beauty of the original stories.

“It is not meant to replace the original works but to encourage young people who are unfamiliar with the novels.

“Kids today have invented their own language and I use this language to try and engage them.

“The stories are about nine or ten pages long and I’ve used some modern words like Asbo and chavs, but I remain true to the story.”

Martin said: “I was criticised by some people for my last book on Shakespeare, but many more congratulated me and a prison education officer said how useful it had been.”

The book costs £7.99 from Authors Online.