I HATE to be the one to break it to her but Rochdale MP’s wife Karen Danczuk – monstered this week by Janet Street-Porter on Loose Women – was not invited on the show because she’s ‘a mum who runs a business’.

She doesn’t have 23,000 followers on Twitter because she’s a Labour councillor and a mum who runs a business.

And the reason Channel 4 are so keen to talk to her, as she revealed this week is, I suspect, not because they are remotely interested in her views on the economic recovery, as told by a Labour councillor, mother and businesswoman.

It’s because, in lots of the selfies she’s posted online, Kazza has ensured that at least half the picture is taken up with spectacular views of her baroque bosom.

Now there’s nothing wrong with Karen’s chest. Nothing wrong with her ensuring she dresses well – like I said the other week, appearance is everything in politics.

But the sad and awful truth is that if she’d kept her baps under wraps no one outside Rochdale would give a monkey’s about her, the delicatessen she runs, or what she thinks about anything.

So I can’t see why she’s getting all upset about being picked up for this aspect of her self-promotion on Loose Women, where Street-Porter claimed she wasn’t a good role model for the town’s young women.

“I just don’t understand why women feel the need to attack other women and then to try and compare my selfies with the Rochdale sex abuse scandal is pretty disgusting and an insult to victims of sexual assault everywhere,” says Karen.

She’s right on both points but this isn’t the point they were making – without the way she self-promotes, she wouldn’t even have been on Loose Women so why doesn’t she acknowledge this?

Instead of attacking Street-Porter, Karen should learn from her.

Become famous for your talent. Not your talent for selfie promotion. Especially if it involves your bits.

After all, with the tragic and hilarious exception of Vladimir Putin, this isn’t the sort of thing you see most men doing to get attention, is it?

They don’t generally see the need to expose particular bits of themselves to get on in life. And thank God for that!

Why I won't be shopping in Poole again

LAST week I got slapped with a £25 parking fine by Borough of Poole for not paying the £1.50 evening parking charge at their Seldown car-park.

I didn’t pay it because, on their sign, it wasn’t made particularly clear to me – certainly not as clear as the message that these charges (the day time ones, clearly displayed) stopped at 6pm.

Does anyone at Borough of Poole really believe that anyone who is sane would deliberately try and get away with not paying £1.50 or even £2 or £3?

Of course not. But it’s good money for them if motorists do make the same slip as me!

I can’t avoid coming into Poole for work purposes but that’s done it for leisure or shopping. Too stressful.

Which is a shame, because I’m sure the town is not so rich it doesn’t need the business...

Yes, Kelly, it is time to start making better choices

FOLLOWING her recent break-up with David McIntosh, relationship disaster zone Kelly Brook, says she’s got to stop picking ‘the wrong men’.

In next week’s news, Nick Clegg says he must stop making ‘pledges’ he isn’t going to keep and Jeremy Clarkson says he must check his number plates a bit better.

Crying Gregg can’t master the dancing

MASTERCHEF’S Gregg Wallace says he ‘cried out of fear’ in the hours before he took to the Strictly dance floor and is glad he’s off the show.

Cried? With fear? Ye Gods. The only fear Gregg Wallace should have is of being exposed for being such a great wet lettuce.

Stroking a cat could stress it out? 

THE generally estimable Cats Protection League reckons that stroking your mog could stress it out. 

“Being held or stroked for too long can be very stressful,” they insist.

This is the outfit that flogged us the Enormous Ginger Cat, who, if you do ANYTHING that offends his imperial ways, is quite liable to have your face off.

I’m sorry, but the idea that anyone, anywhere can make a cat do something it doesn’t want to is simply laughable. 

No problem with being old, I just don't want to look it...

MARY Beard, 59, wants to start a campaign to reclaim the word ‘old’. I like her style. I like her sentiment. 

But, like most women, while I DO want to get old (the alternative is too horrible to contemplate) I don’t want to BE old and I certainly don’t want to LOOK old.

Which is why I’ll be politely watching from the sidelines, silently cheering her on, while furiously leafing through the glossy mags for details of the latest anti-ageing skin/hair/body treatment...