It isn't revelatory that a console game be furnished with a script so hideous that the first series of Neighbours seems like The Godfather in comparison.

That it's part of one of the most loved gaming series also comes as little shock.

Revelations is about as polished as a sheep's bottom. Cliche-peppered conversations are stilted and monotonous, the graphics outside of the main characters are an embarrassment to the console and the whole deal smacks of a rushed job.

I know it was originally a 3DS game, but come on.

However, the monstrosities accompanying our adventure have a big whiff of that terrifying eyes-in-the-hands chap from Pan's Labyrinth

So on top of all that's wrong with Revelations, the staggering blobs of evil make for some fine frights.

And that certainly is a revelation.