There’s an episode of South Park in which the latest Tiger Woods game features his wife belting seven shades of adultery from the golfer’s face.

Sadly, although unsurprisingly, this feature is not included in EA Sports’ long-running series.

And in keeping with my previous attempt to use the Move in whatever application suits its purpose (the game of tennis is simplified to the point that one hardly needs move at all), let’s see how Tiger fares in the wanton-living-room-destruction stakes.

My first nine holes resulted thusly: 1 Shot limit exceeded; 2 Four over par; 3 Bogey; 4 Five over par; 5 Five over par; 6 Par; 7 Four over par; 8 Four over par; 9 Four over par.

My ‘out’ round of 73 at Augusta wasn’t a classic, and it’s my short game that needs the most work.

Swinging with the Move is a portion of birthday pie, but putting is an absolute pig whore from outer space. Practice solves this frustrating-to-the-point-of-self-mutilation issue, but be prepared for a good hour or so of after-the-watershed language before you get there.