Turns out you can’t fight a dragon with a measly sword, it’ll only rip out your still-beating heart and nick off with it.

That’s that lesson well learned then.

Thankfully you’re reborn, of sorts, and off you pop to get it back, because no scaly offal thief is going to make off with your innards unpunished.

So goeth the story of Dragon’s Dogma, more or less. It’s all very Skyrim and hence all very Lord of the Rings, but that’s no bad thing, particularly if you covet such mystical RPG realms.

Indeed, Dragon’s Dogma is a rather fruity romp through the well-trodden wizards and goblins scenario, especially if you can put up with the graphical weirdness that leads to bits and pieces disappearing off screen for no reason.

And she’s a tough taskmaster. Don’t you jolly well dare entertain the idea that you can whip through the story with neary a bloodied throat. You will die, and horribly at that, but 'tis all in good fun, hmmm?