So what is the secret to a long and happy marriage?

“I was studying at the Boy’s High School in India, I graduated at 18, did my Cambridge examination and I can remember Pam, she was younger than me by three years, hanging around on the gate when I used to visit my teacher,” he says.

“I was conscripted into the British Army at the age of 19 in 1945,” remembers Lionel.

“I found myself in the First Battalion the Lancashire Fusiliers and I was there for six months before moving to the Officer’s training school in Bangalore.”

He was ‘eventually asked to join the Indian Army’ where he spent his days ‘bringing Hindus to India from Pakistan and taking Muslims to Pakistan from India’.

“I was only 18 or 19 when it started and it was like a dream.”

He believes that unlike today, when people like to map out a path in life: “I never thought about the future, you never thought about where you were going or what you were doing.”

But he knew he would like to be married and have a family although it took him and Pamela some time before they realised they might be suited.

“We’d see each other as friends when I returned on leave,” he says.

“She went for teacher training and our friendship carried on until I was 25 when I was a captain. I was still friendly with her and I suppose I came to realise that I loved her! So I proposed and we got married.”

So love crept up on them?

He laughs. “I don’t think I know what love is in that respect and maybe still don’t. To me it’s care and sacrifice, giving up something for someone you care for very, very dearly.”

Lionel has lived his belief, spending his days ensuring that Pam, who has developed dementia, is well-cared for.

“Perhaps younger people don’t realise that when you’re young you live for the moment, your lives together are taken up with more physical things,” he says.

“When you’re older it’s about care.”

Love certainly was different then to now if Lionel is anything to go by, he says he never asked his wife when and why she fell in love with him.

For 60 years they stayed together, raising their two children, Gary and Heather-Anne and eventually settling back in Bournemouth where Lionel joined the probation service and founded a charity to assist an Indian village and Pam indulged her interest in history and buildings.

“I think I am romantic but I wasn’t a great sender of flowers although we had always written letters to each other,” he says.

“Looking back on it I think I could have done much more in the romance department!”

Does he have any wise words to impart to those embarking on marriage today?

“To be fair I think it’s so individualistic that you can’t generalise,” he says.

“For me, I do love my wife very much, with me that’s an old-fashioned sort of love, and obligation, too.”

He feels people should look at the vows they make at their wedding for guidance. “I always go back to my wedding vows; in sickness and in health. I say that whether you like it or not, whether it’s easy, you have to give of your best to your husband or wife.”

Words of wisdom

Over the past few years the Echo has been privileged to interview many people who have enjoyed a super-marriage. Here are their words of wisdom on how to make it work for you...

Clarence and Dorothy Cattle of Poole, married for 70 years in December 2012 Asked the secret of their long and happy marriage, Clarence, 91, said: “A sense of humour,” while Dorothy’s tip was “not to go to bed on an argument”.

Eric and Joan Trill of Ringwood, married for 70 years in December 2012.

Joan, 89, told the Echo: “We always say thank you to one another for everything. We appreciate each other and everything we do for each other – that’s how it’s got to be.”

Derek and Valerie Parsons of Burton Bradstock, married for 70 years in January 2013
According to Derek, the secret of their long and happy marriage can be summed up in two words: ‘yes, dear’.

“We had our ups and downs like other people but you have to overcome them,” he said.

“It was also about having been brought up in the army with a sense of discipline and loyalty.”