APART from being devastated that they are not calling her Princess Faith, which would have got her off to the very best start indeed, I’ve got a good feeling about our gorgeous new Princess Charlotte.

Unlike all Princesses before her she won’t be rudely elbowed out of the line of succession to the throne by her brothers, because her Great Granny - otherwise known as The Queen - hath decreed it so and not before time, if you ask me.

As she won’t ever have to worry about paying the gas bill, the washing machine breaking down or whether her own kids will have a job, I hope our newest Princess devotes herself to The Cause and becomes a feminist warrior, using her position and her influence to better the lives of girls and women everywhere.

Instead of cutting ribbons and launching ships I hope she follows in the footsteps of her grannies, Carole – who made her own fortune - and Diana who became a committed campaigner for the less fortunate. Fighting evil weapons, under-age marriage, female mutilation and the kind of nonsense that sees women shrouded in garments that resemble black bags would be a splendid calling for a modern young lady.

One of my many hopes is that Princess Charlotte will eventually campaign for ALL women to get the kind of Rolls-Royce maternity care afforded to her mother, Kate. Vital in the week it was revealed that women in the UK are twice as likely to die in pregnancy than in many countries in Eastern Europe.

Of course she’s going to wear gowns and tiaras and be interested in looking gorgeous. But I hope the reason for that will be so that even more people pay attention to what she has to say. And that what she has to say will be a blessing and a rallying call for women everywhere.

PS It didn’t take the knockers much time to get going, moaning about the new baby being a drain on society and all the rest of the dreary old republican shtick.

Yes, with a job description reading Heir to the Spare, and a reigning monarch for a great granny, Princess Charlotte is already more fortunate than almost every kid born this day or any other.

But she has something that money can’t buy and it’s this which will ultimately determine her future. You only had to look at the shots of William tenderly kissing Kate and gently guiding her to the car to see how much he cares. The greatest thing he and Kate will give Charlotte is not money, palaces and gewgaws but the stability of growing up in a home with two parents who love each other as much as they love her.

PPS And why does everyone keep insisting Prince Charles must be delighted to have a little Princess ‘at last’. He used to have a Princess of his own once. She was called Diana and, as I recall, he didn’t exactly cherish her, did he?

Thank you for giving us 70 years of peace 

IT’S 70 years since my grandparents and their awesome generation celebrated Victory in Europe.

That’s 70 years of peace, prosperity, stability and opportunity; everything we have today is built on their sacrifice, their courage and their blood.

Dolly and Albert and Elsie and Don are all at God’s right hand now. As are most of their mates but a few of these mighty oaks still stand, including the Queen and Prince Phillip.

To them and the generation they represent - the Greatest Generation - we say thank-you once again and pray that we can be worthy of everything they gave up, so we could grow up in peace.

My question to Nick Clegg 

AND SO to the election. There are a million things I want to say and a million questions I want to ask. But I’ll confine myself to this. Nick Clegg, do you still think your vicious and cynical betrayal of all those first-time voter students in 2010 over their tuition fees was worth it?

Size obviously does matter 

ACCORDING to Fern Britton men don’t care what about any particular shape ‘they like personality’ and they want you to be ‘living life and enjoying life the way they do’.

Maybe they do. But if that’s the case, why do overweight ladies like Fern put themselves through the horror of a gastric band op?

And if what she says it true, why aren’t women swooning over the idea of Eric Pickles getting his shirt off for a bit of scything, rather than Mr Ross Poldark?

Canal trip 

WHY is anyone surprised that half a million folk ‘enjoyed’ watching BBC4’s dreary two-hour canal trip programme this week?

These are the same people who drive at 52 mph in the fast lane of the Spur Road, spend 15 minutes quizzing the poor girl at the counter in the Post Office, and can’t decide what to eat when they get to the serving counter at Maccy D’s.