MONKEY' Wrench was a big fellow but even he was too small.
He was my rugby teacher at school and was regarded as a hero by many because he played for England. He was so good he was picked to play for the British Lions when they toured Down Under but when he returned he reported that players of his stature had had their day. Monkey' was built like a bull but the England team had come up against even bigger Goliaths in the Australian XV.
Tomorrow the England rugby team carry the hopes of the nation on their burly shoulders when they take on France in the World Cup. The stuff of dreams.
But most of the rest of us know that, even had we been gifted with the most majestic ball skills, unless you are of mighty build there's little chance of playing sport at the very highest level.
Top tennis players these days are of commanding stature, world-beating swimmers have huge feet, sprinters are giants and most football players, close-up, look sturdy specimens (at least to some- one vertically challenged like myself).
This weekend, I will, of course, be cheering for the England rugby boys in the World Cup, as well as our football team in the European Championships, but I will also be rooting, big-time, for Rob King in the major event taking place in Canada.
Rob's the Bournemouth man taking part in the prestigious... Rock, Paper, Scissors World Championships.
That is a sport to which even someone of my stature can aspire. It is a game of wits, and subtlety - not mere imposing physique - where you try to read your opponent's body language to predict their next throw.
It's a contest of brains... but what's the betting the blinking winner turns out to be a fellow with a fist the size of Frank Bruno's?
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