LAST weekend I had the privilege of giving a Best Man's speech at a wedding.
It was during this intensely nerve-wracking experience that I confirmed my own worse fears.
Whenever I, Patrick Gough, pick up a live microphone in public, I turn into a bingo caller.
I first noticed the tell-tale signs when indulging in karaoke last New Year's Eve.
In the middle of The Troggs' Wild Thing, I began adlibbing with the lyrics and enquiring if everyone at the front of the house was having a good time.
It was 10 times worse at the wedding and all I needed was a glittering gold jacket to match my cheesy speech delivery.
Having never been to the bingo or seen a bingo caller in action, it's a mystery where this inner demon of light entertainment comes from.
Always on the tip of my tongue were sentences like "Eyes down for the bride and groom" and "Two fat ladies - a big round of applause for the bridesmaids."
I've not seen any post-speech footage yet, so I can't be sure quite how "bingo" I got, although I do recall an elderly relative standing up halfway through and shouting "House!"
If you ever find yourself nervously giving a speech, by the way, try a brilliant tip given to me by a work colleague.
Wiggle your big toes as you speak and it miraculously seems to release all the nervous energy from your body.
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