SO now we know; Britain's most infuriating celebrity is Kerry Katona, deemed by responders to a survey of Britain's 100 most annoying things as a worse irritant than screaming kids, novelty ringtones and dog poo.

Which is really saying something, when you consider she was up against queue-jumpers, small, yapping dogs, rubbishy doctor's surgery opening times, automated phone systems and chavs.

The list is a particularly British one, condemning middle-laners, Americans and Scientology, as well as blokes in flip-flops, Ulrika Jonsson and people who secretly work before exams.

And it chimes because there is nothing we Brits love more than to be annoyed about something. We like to get on our high horse about people who smack their kids in Sainsbury's as well as those who fail to shut their wailing brat up in the very same supermarket.

I am annoyed by all the celebs on the Annoying List, as well as Victoria Beckham (pout/boobs/utter inability to crack a smile), Simon Cowell, Sarah-Jessica Parker (why?), Strictly Come Dancing loser Gabby Logan, and the awful, awful woman on the Today programme who interrupts everything with a pulse. Still with the BBC, I can't stand the way all their newsreaders smugly pronounce the words Jean Charles de Menezes as Jeeee-Ann Sharl-les Jiminezes whenver the unfortunate Brazilian shooting victim's name is mentioned.

I get infuriated by people who go out on a mass lunch and order lobster and Chateau Rip-Off... but only after they've crucified themselves to ensure that We're all going to split the bill, aren't we'. But then I get equally narked by the person who works out everything to the last penny on a calculator, including the tip.

Shop assistants who talk and chew gum and ignore me when I'm waiting to pay get my goat as do those emporia who are so up themselves they make you ring a bell to get in.

I hate celebrity perfumes. God knows what Britney Spears and Jade Goody smell like but I don't want to be reminded of it and I can't abide celebrity fashion collections' either, but especially the dross of Kate Moss.

I get irked by 50mph speed limits and I feel incandescent by most things to do with the Human Rights Act. Particularly ire-making is the bit that says we can't deport foreign crims like Philip Lawrence killer Learco Chindamo, because of their right to a family life, when they have deprived their victim of their right to theirs.

People who offer plain biscuits when you know damn well they've got choccy ones in the cupboard, soggy peaches at the bottom of the punnet, gristly lamb, tapioca, semolina and sushi are all irritating, as are restaurants who charge extra for vegetables.

And, just in case you've ever been in any doubt, I also cannot stand anything that's ever been said, worn, or done by Cherie Blair.