TV reality show Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack kicked off last night, apparently involving some people with brains. Isn't that a contradiction?

I have no problem with reality programmes but there's one thing about them that gets up my snitch. Their repetitive use of annoying words and phrases.

I don't object to decent British cliches that can enrich our language like "raining cats and dogs" or, indeed, "get up my snitch" but I have to praise the university that seeks to ban useless or over-used phrases.

And reality shows have made a host of words horrid to hear. Anyone who has listened to BB or Celebrity Love Island will snarl like a wounded boar when they hear a contestant repeatedly calling a near-stranger "Babe". They are not babes, even though they may behave like them.

If you're like me you may also need restraining whenever I'm a Celebrity's Ant or Dec mentions jungle "critturs" for the 999th unimaginative time. Irritating or what? And should anyone appearing on the next Strictly Come Dancing series use the "J Word" or say anything at all about their "Journey" I shall not be responsible for the damage caused to my TV set.

Business jargon's as bad. Would it niggle you if, before we touch base, I ran this up the flagpole? I hate phrases like "blue sky thinking". And MPs should be deselected for saying, "Not fit for purpose".

Now you've got me going, how about people who say "Smile, it may never happen"? Or "incentivise, "been there done that, got the T-shirt", "no problemo", "real deal", "no worries", "best practice", "surreal" or, most irritating of all, "Enjoy!"

Soaps are no better than reality shows when it comes to annoying language. Like EastEnders oft said and always tiresome "It's all about family, innit?". Or "Shut it!"

Perhaps I'd better.