EVER felt you were the only person on earth who wondered why you have to keep reading about people like Mr Amy Winehouse, Blake Fielder-Civil, every time you open a newspaper? I certainly have. Most days, in fact.

But the good news for you - and me - is that we are not alone.

Discerning readers of men's magazine Arena have compiled their own list of Britain's top male "anti-icons", described as "witless male celebrities who least deserve their place in the spotlight".

Topping the bill is the aforementioned Fielder-Civil, who is currently in Pentonville Prison, awaiting trial.

The magazine has branded him "the worst husband ever" because "if your wife is partial to a nice bit of heroin then you should probably help her out by abstaining from drugs yourself".

That's their opinion. Mine is that he should top this list mainly because until he hitched up with Miss Rehab-Dodger, no one had ever heard of him and nor were they likely to. And he looks like he's never had a bath.

Not content with assassinating what's left of his character, Arena reckons his lack of style damns him to fashion hell, too.

"Along with fellow hat-botherer Pete Doherty, Fielder-Civil has made the trilby untouchable for any self-respecting gent," they say.

The second anti-icon is the graffiti artist (if you're over 50) or iconic street painter (for the sixth formers who Arena accuses of lauding him) Banksy.

"Their minds are so fogged by hormones they believe that stencils of policemen kissing passes for caustic social commentary," snorts Arena, while complaining about the £1 billion it costs to remove graffiti each year.

The third most witless celeb is Frank Lampard, derided basically for "failing the country" with his lamentable performance in the Euro 2008 qualifiers (or should that be non-qualifiers?) He is followed by falsetto-voice singer Mika (Love Today? Arena thinks not) and TV host Jeremy Kyle.

Mr Jordan, Peter Andre, comes sixth, mainly for forming "half of Britain's most over-exposed couple" (in more ways than one, when you consider his missus' chosen occupation).

Then comes ex-Big Brother housemate Ziggy (no, me neither) and pop star Prince.

Joint ninth are Ant and Dec, mainly for being connected with rigged phone-ins, although they should actually be cited for gross banality. The final anti-icon - surprisingly - is the relatively blameless Richard Hammond, whose main crime appears to be, according to Arena, "cashing-in" on his near-death crash.

Hmm. Arena's readers haven't done too bad a job, but look at who they've left off.

Where is the section covering anyone who has ever won, or, erm, "starred" on X-Factor or, indeed, any reality TV show?

What about Royal no-mark Prince Edward? What's he ever done to deserve a newspaper mention, apart from being born?

And, if we stretch it out a bit to include women, what's the point of Sadie Frost? (Famous for being once married to Jude Law. And mates with Kate Moss. And that's about it.) Why do we have to hear about Danielle Lloyd (English lingerie and glamour model, most famous for being on the notorious Celebrity Big Brother show last year).

And Wags. What's the point of them? Why do any of them deserve a space in the limelight when it's their other halves who have the talent although, if Arena is anything to go by, this doesn't apply at the moment to Mr Lampard.

And this is only British nonentities. If you go global, you have an even richer seam to plough, from Paris Hilton through to Lindsay Lohan and everyone who has ever been married to Donald Trump. A sobering thought indeed. And not just for readers of Arena.