COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.
HUSBAND HAD AFFAIR WITH MY SISTER WHILE MUM WAS DYING
For the last four months of my mum’s life, I practically lived at her house. She had cancer and was very ill for a long time. And with the pandemic, I had to decide what to do for the best, so I stayed with her as my husband said he could cope.
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Mum died last October and while I miss her dreadfully, in many ways I am relieved she is at last at peace. It soon became apparent though, that my husband had been having an affair while I was away. I didn’t know who it was with though, and it took me a while to find out. When I did, it was a dreadful shock - as the person he’d been having an affair with was my sister!
I couldn’t believe that, while I gave up my normal life to look after our mother, my sister was sleeping with my husband. When I confronted them both, he just went silent, whilst she and I said some dreadful things to one another.
I have lost my mother, my sister, and my husband in just a few short weeks.
FIONA SAYS: THERE IS A LOT TO REPAIR
I’m so sorry to read about the traumatic time you’ve been through. It is particularly sad that, at a time when you and your sister should be comforting one another over the loss of your mother, the two of you are now so estranged. What caused her and your husband to behave in this extraordinary way is difficult to fathom.
Do you still want to be with a man who can behave in this way?
As for your sister, if there is ever to be a working relationship between the two of you again, counselling will be needed for you both. I fear, though, that you won’t find it easy to forget or trust either of them again. You deserve better people in your life, so you might just find it easier to move on without them.
DREADING INTRODUCING NEW BOYFRIEND TO MY JUDGEMENTAL PARENTS
I’d like some advice on how I should introduce my boyfriend to my parents. We are serious about one another, and I think he could be the one I want to spend my life with - I really love him. My problem is, I’m not sure how my army officer father and my ‘what-will-the-neighbours’ say mother will cope.
Aside from the fact he’s 14 years older than me, he has a dreadful family background.
FIONA SAYS: FOCUS ON YOUR HAPPINESSS
However bad it is, it won’t be any worse than you have been imagining! So, if you love this man, set up a meeting and get it out of the way.
Email help@askfiona.net for advice. All letters are treated in complete confidence.
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