It's going to be a very lucky day today, punk. Yes I am feeling lucky. Wanna know why?
Well it all started this morning when I was strapping my youngest daughter into her car seat. It's a tricky job as she's wrapped up like the Michelin man in a thick coat and fleece.
She wriggles too, and sits on the strap so I have to get her to move again so I can find the buckle.
I've just got it to fit when I feel a drip on my head.
Starting to rain I think, then I look to the sky and realise I'm standing under a tree with a pigeon in it.
And fair play to my feathered friend he's scored a direct hit.
Now any other animal messing on me would elicit a stream of expletives questioning the sexuality of the animal and doubting its parentage.
And to be honest some other animals (I'm thinking elephant or horse) would probably knock me out if they pooed on me. (Incidentally I spent a few minutes trying to work out how to spell pooed - my best alterative was poohed, but that only works if it's a fluffy bear with a piglet in tow who has left a deposit) Also, if I saw an elephant or a horse up a tree I'd probably be wise enough not to walk under them.
Which brings me back to my pigeon.
I'm told by wise soothsayers that it is lucky to be pooed on by a birds.
So I take it in the spirit it is intended, I calmly kiss my daughter, who is unaware of the lucky gift I have just been given.
Then I walk inside and ask my wife if the little beggar has messed all down my shirt.
No, just a spot on your hair she says and she wipes it off with a wet wipe.
So I don't have to change my shirt. Which is lucky. Hope it continues.
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