Few of us dip our toes into the turbulent waters of adult life without one or two emotional bruises from our schooldays.

The playground is a battlefield, where bullies home in on the slightest sign of weakness and wreak maximum devastation with a few well-chosen verbal grenades.

In Steven Brill's comedy, the victims of intimidation strike back against their tormentors with a little help from a most unlikely role model: a downtrodden soldier of fortune whose bold claims that he protected "three Vice Presidents, Bobby Brown and Sylvester Stallone" are all lies.

On their first day at high school, best friends Ryan (Troy Gentile) and Wade (Nate Hartley) lend a helping hand to bullied loner Emmit (David Dorfman) by saving him from psychotic Filkins (Alex Frost) and his henchman Ronnie (Josh Peck).

The thugs turn their attention to Ryan and Wade as well, making all three boys' lives a misery.

Refusing to spend the best years of their lives in perpetual fear, the boys hire covert black ops mercenary Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson) as their private bodyguard.

He infiltrates the school by posing as a supply teacher, and wins the heart of staffroom lovely Lisa (Mann).

However, Drillbit soon realises that Filkins and Ronnie are a serious threat and the only way to save his pint-sized proteges is to become the hard man he pretends to be.

Drillbit Taylor is a blood brother to screenwriter Seth Rogen's previous film, Superbad, which drew its humour from the camaraderie between two sexually frustrated teenagers.

This comedy is pitched younger, touching briefly upon affairs of the heart and the loins in the most innocent way when shy, gangly Wade tries to pluck up the courage to ask out classmate Brooke.

"What if she says no?" asks Ryan.

"My life sucks so badly that if she says no, I won't have far to fall," concludes his pal sadly.

Rapport between the leads fizzes with energy, galvanised by quick-fire dialogue and some amusing interludes like when Ryan and Wade try to practice Drillbit's self-defence techniques by punching one another, and almost break bones.

Dorfman's deranged hanger-on is a nice addition to the mix, while Frost and Peck glower with enough sinister intent to convince us they could have an entire school cowering in submission.

Wilson plays to his strengths, grinning impishly in romantic scenes with Mann (sex takes places behind closed doors), and stripping off completely for a roadside shower that would cause a multi-vehicle pile-up in any other film.

Rogen and Kristofer Brown's screenplay runs out of ideas and hastily contrives a final showdown that asserts the best way to defeat a bully is to smack him even harder.

"I don't want you to think I'm the kind of guy who impresses girls with violence," Wade tells Brooke, "but that was kind of for you."

It gives new meaning to the term schoolboy crush.

  • See it at the Odeon and Empire