A CHEESEMAKER has been accused of ‘emasculating’ Dorset’s Cerne Giant by censoring the naked figure’s famous appendage on its packaging.
The Oxford Cheese Company has been slammed for featuring an image of the giant on its ‘Cerne Abbas Man vintage cheddar’ – minus the figure’s oversized phallus.
The manufacturer has been accused of censoring the giant’s manhood to avoid causing offence among the ‘woke.’
At 180ft, the Cerne Giant is Britain’s largest, and possibly best-known, chalk hill figure.
Various theories abound the club-wielding giant and his mysteriously large appendage. Many believe the carving is an ancient fertility symbol, whilst others say it depicts the Greco-Roman hero Hercules.
Now, in 2023, the omission of the giant’s genitalia from cheese packaging has sparked outrage.
Vic Irvine, head brewer at Cerne Abbas Brewery was left “apoplectic” after discovering the famous landmark had been castrated – and believes the giant has been ‘watered down’ to spare the blushes of the easily-offended.
“He has been emasculated,” Mr Irvine said. “I think (the cheese manufacturers) are terrible rotters for taking our giant and taking his penis off him.
“I feel as if it were my own one that was taken off – it’s terrible.”
The brewery’s own product imagery features the giant in all his naked glory. Mr Irvine said the company is “strongly proud” of Dorset’s heritage. “To deface a national monument to sell some smelly old cheese is a disgrace,” he added.
Asked whether he thinks the cheese manufacturer should apologise over the ‘cock-up,’ the head brewer said: “I just want them to stop doing it – and for God sake I hope they don’t send us any cheese because we won’t eat it.
“It’s just terrible I don’t know why they’re doing it – if you’re going to use the giant, use the giant – don’t take his appendage off him.
“It’s watering it down in case they upset people - it’s not on. An erect penis is an erect penis.”
The Oxford Cheese Company has been contacted for comment.
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