I BLAME their parents. After all, many university students have not long left home. How can students be blamed if the fire service has been called out to student accommodation 82 times in the past year when the number of fires has been three. Eighty two times!

Most of the remaining 79, it appears, were call-outs that happened after a fire alarm went off because, for example, someone had burnt toast.

Well you can't blame the student, can you? After all, the making of toast is a difficult life skill. Before they left home their parents should have taught them the technique.

First, you put your slice of bread in the toaster or under the grill.

Secondly, you make sure it doesn't burn.

I know that's a bit technical but, heck, if students can't manage that... how are the going to cook baked beans or pot noodles?

OK, I know. I'm stereotyping students. In reality most are very sensible and can rustle up a dish to make Jamie Oliver salivate. And the clue to the multiple call-outs can probably be found in the statement that the majority were "fire alarm good intent" call-outs that often occurred "in the early hours".

Burnt toast can happen to anyone but 11 call-outs to student accommodation were malicious. And, of course, may not have been made by students at all.

The total call-out cost of £10,000 is worrying but the far greater cost would be if, for example, a major fire broke out elsewhere with people trapped inside. And a fire crew were out on a malicious call.

If that were to happen, you wouldn't just want the boneheads responsible punished. You'd want to have them on toast.