CHRISTCHURCH Football Club must be laughing all the way to the bank thanks to their recent FA Vase heroics.

And, more importantly, the coffers of Manchester United will have been swelled by this season’s FA Cup exploits.

Moneybags Christchurch are easily the most affluent Wessex League club in, well, err, probably only Christchurch, actually.

Needy Manchester United, however, are merely only one of the richest clubs in the world, if no longer the wealthiest in Manchester.

But when it comes to greed and arrogance, United and their nauseous manager Sir Alex Ferguson are in a league of their own.

On the day Christchurch eased into the last 16 of the FA Vase, the Red Devils booked their place in the fifth round of the FA Cup with victory over Tottenham.

Christchurch’s reward for comprehensively seeing off FC Clacton was a trip to Chalfont St Peter and a big, fat cheque for, wait for it….. £1,500!

It took their winnings in the competition to £6,700 and was almost double the £800 they collected for beating Hartley Wintney in first round qualifying.

Back at Old Trafford, United’s triumph over Spurs earned them £100,000 in prize money, £160,000 in television revenue and a visit to either Derby or Nottingham Forest.

Fortunately for Ferguson, goals from Paul Scholes and Dimitar Berbatov helped United progress after Roman Pavlyuchenko had given Spurs the lead.

Of course, the last thing Ferguson needed would have been a draw, which is why he considered using an FA loophole to remove the risk of an unwanted replay.

Apparently, there is an ancient rule, which has never been invoked for the FA Cup proper rounds, that allows a drawn first match to immediately go to extra time, providing both clubs agree.

“The criticism would be we are not adhering to the spirit of the FA Cup, but why have the FA got it in there?” said Ferguson in the lead up to the Spurs tie. “It’s their problem. It’s their fault really. We will investigate it.”

An FA spokesperson said the rule, which is now likely to be amended, was “aimed at the preliminary rounds, to help teams with geographical distances”.

Picture the scene.

Christchurch somehow manage to earn a home tie against Manchester United in the third round of next season’s FA Cup and Ferguson quickly gets on the phone to his opposite number Graham Kemp.

“Hi Kempy, it’s Fergie here,” says Sir Alex.

“If we draw with you, would you mind if we went to extra time rather than a replay as we’ve got more important Champions League and Premiership commitments?”

“No problem,” replies Kemp. “We’re loaded from our run in the FA Vase last season plus we could finish in the top 10 in the Wessex League and have also got a chance of winning the Russell-Cotes Cup.”

Whatever next.