Turn the screen upside down or stand on your head while you’re reading this please – I’m writing this from a hotel room in Brisbane, Australia.

After 20 hours’ flying (the first 12 on that monster Airbus 380 – very quiet, like a great big coach) we landed in Oz.

Then begins the piece of theatre that is passing through customs and immigration.

Actually the passport officer (“you have a g’day, Chris”), a dead ringer for former fast bowler Merv Hughes, was a pleasant welcome for my tired mind.

We’d filled in the form to say we’d never ever been near a farm and there was no trace of mud from anywhere in the world on our shoes.

But my crazy brother has also filled in the “look at me, make me empty my bags please, I’ve got something to declare” form.

“It’s always quicker to go through the red channel,” he assured me.

“What, exactly, have you got to declare?” I asked him.

“Some tea and biscuits,” he said.

“How very English,” I thought “All we need is some crumpets and butter and a bowl of strawberries and cream and we can have a England theme party.”

Turned out he was right, though, as we were waved through without a second glance by the customs officer. He didn’t even ask what sort of biscuits they were.

Quite an uneventful arrival, really.

Ahh, but hang on, I forgot to tell you the really big news.We spotted a celebrity.

It was during the two hours’ stopover in Singapore airport.

I was sitting down ready to tuck into my croissant from Delifrance (I know, very Asian isn’t it? Clearly the law that states all airports must look the same applies here too). I looked up and the scruffy, tired-looking guy ordering breakfast looked familiar. I nodded to my brother and he looked over. “What?” he said.

It’s at this point that I’m going to reveal the name of the celeb. Any guesses? It’s someone travelling, probably to Australia, maybe on a world tour or something.

Want a clue?

He’s a comedian. Short dark hair and thick-rimmed glasses. Slow down. I bet you’re thinking Ken Dodd, Harry Enfield (does he wear glasses?) or even that bloke who plays Dame Edna, Barry Humphries (yeah I know, why would he be eating a seven-dollar breakfast in Delifrance – he must be rich enough to afford a place in the posh transit lounge, surely?).

I’ll put you out of your misery (and I’m certain of my identification because I heard him speak and the voice confirmed it).

Jeff Green.

What do you mean, Jeff who?

Comedian, I think he used to be in a Channel 4 sitcom, unless I’m confusing him with Dylan Moran from Black Books, they look a bit similar.

He’s definitely a comedian and you’d recognise him if you saw him. Which come to think of it, you probably have, because the sub-editor who designed this page will have found a picture of Mr Green [I have, because it’s more interesting than an Airbus 380 or a Brisbane hotel room – Daily Echo sub-editor]. So my attempts at suspense have been a bit redundant as you already knew who it was.

Well okay, he’s not the most famous celeb to see, but after 12 hours’ watching non-stop TV on a monitor on the back of the seat in front of you in a cramped aeroplane, anything seems exciting.

I’m flying back in a fortnight, just a couple of days before the Ashes starts.

Maybe I’ll be able to tell you about the celebrities I spot on that trip next time I write. G’day.