IT would seem Gordon Brown’s feeling fed up – which is just as well, because there are plenty of people who are, quite frankly, pretty cheesed off with him.

If he does decide to give up politics and become a teacher, let’s just hope he doesn’t get a job down here.

Apparently, he has a bit of a temper – or, to put it more politely, doesn’t suffer fools gladly – which makes you wonder whether a career in education might not be a case of frying pan and fire.

Imagine what he’d be like with maths, for example. “No, no. Two and two doesn’t equal four! It’s quite clearly five, thanks to my successful implementation of quantitative easing.

“And if John has five apples and four oranges and gives one apple and two oranges to Jill, who had three bananas and five grapefruits before she received four melons and six strawberries from Janet, the answer quite clearly isn’t local farmers’ markets, but more power to Tesco and Morrisons.”

History, meanwhile, would be a nightmare. “Listen class, I’ve already said I’m not prepared to talk about the war in Iraq until the results of the secret committee have been published, and even then we can only discuss the redacted version.”

Economics would be in the capable hands of supply teacher Mr Darling, and former Speaker Michael Martin could start his own charm school. That’ll teach them. l If Mr Brown does decide to step down, you can bet the house on his successor having a full head of hair.

Margaret Thatcher famously didn’t like men (or women, come to that) with beards in her cabinet – and now, it seems, the electorate can’t handle a leader with a shiny dome.

That’s why William Hague didn’t go the distance, even when he tried to cover up his hair loss by wearing a baseball cap in a down-with-the-kids-kinda-way.

Iain Duncan Smith, Neil Kinnock – can you see a (male baldness) pattern emerging?

Why, even the saintly Vince Cable stands no chance up against the luxuriously-coiffed David Cameron and Nick Clegg.

In Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, despite allegations of corruption and serial lechery, has been more popular than ever since his hair transplant.

Back home, when Tony Blair started to recede at the temples he clearly had to make way for the guy next door, with his dark helmet of hair.

But not even that crowning glory can save Mr Brown. Maybe it really is time to look beyond fringe politics and face up to the bald truth.

Masterchef’s Greg Wallace may look like an egg on legs, but he’s somehow managed to pull a stunner half his age. Duncan Goodhew is famously dyslexic, but, when it comes to expenses forms, it seems most politicians suffer from the same condition.

Gail Porter would get the youth vote, but personally I’d like to see TV personality Dominic Littlewood in Number 10 – so much better than the hair today, gone tomorrow crowd we’ve got now.