I've had problems with my Tunnel Line over the past couple of weeks, I had a blockage that couldn't be unblocked so I had my old line removed & a new one put in.

Dr George told me that it usually takes between 5 mins & one hour to remove a line, it took him two hours to remove mine!!!

It had been put in awkwardly & deeper than usual which explains why it was so painful.

It was a bizarre experience, I was just in a bed on Ward 10 with a curtain around me, Mum was with me & 2 student doctors were watching. Dr George was chatting away to me & to the students.

I had plenty of local anaesthetic in my shoulder so couldn't feel any pain but it was a weird sensation because I could feel all the pulling. All the fibrous tissue that had formed around the cuff of the tube had to be removed before the tube could come out.

Dr George said he was being careful not to make the incision too big so that I could wear my strapless dress at Christmas!

He talked about this blog and said he'd heard about it from a patient who had been finding it very interesting, he said it was very useful for him to read a patient's perspective. Maybe I need to keep it up more often???

He also started talking about the girls and what we've told them, I found that too much, I hated crying without being able to blow my nose or wipe my eyes - being on a hospital bed unable to move is a very vulnerable situation. Thankfully he changed the subject for me.

The insertion of the new tube went smoothly - total sedation is definitely the way to go, it was amazing the difference.

The Dr who put the new tube in was a lady & asked if I minded it going in the opposite side - meaning more scars, I wonder if it was her being a woman & knowing that at the end of the day when what needs doing needs doing, looks & vanity really aren't important??? Does that make sense?

Dr George was concerned about the size of the scar he made but the lady Dr just wanted the new tube in as easily & simply as possible - regardless of scars.

I didn't care at the time but trying on new clothes when Christmas shopping for myself I was a bit shocked at the sight of my chest - a 'friend' described it as looking like I'd been in an RTA!!! (I had bruises, stitches & dressings all over my chest & neckline).

This Christmas is feeling very strange, it is such a blessing because I genuinely thought I wouldn't be here, but on the other hand the longer I'm feeling well I know it will be even harder to accept illness again.

Kev and I went to Brighton for the weekend, we had a wonderful time shopping for ourselves, eating fantastic food, the hotel was wonderful, I had a hot stone massage that was just so relaxing, it was such a treat that we really needed and deserved but coming home just brings you back with a crash.

I've been suffering from a funny tummy since Sunday and I'm sure it's just because my body can't cope with the over-indulgence the way it could before.

I'm going to need to be a bit careful over Christmas. Going to Brighton was so special because there was lots of snow - a proper Christmassy break.

I have never walked in snow like that before, or drunk mulled wine in the snow, it was one of those experiences that should have been on my list of thigs to do before I die - but I didn't know it until I'd done it.

I have so much to do, I am feeling overwhelmed, we decorated & built in our hallway last week - Kev did it between hospital runs and childcare missions with the help of Rik & Gregg.

It looks great now & will make such a difference heat & noise wise but it has created chaos in what was already chaos and I'm trying to get things sorted in between nativities, Christmas parties & wrapping presents - I guess this is what it's all about - just normal family life.