I HAD my CT scan on Tuesday, I hadn't felt nervous before hand, hadn't really thought about it to be honest for the first time ever. It went fine except the flipping doctor insisted on putting the dye through a canula in my arm.

I told him they used my tunnel line last time but he said "We don't do that here, it isn't as effective because the dye is supposed to be injected under pressure which can't be done through a line. It won't take such good pictures if we use the line."

Now I know that that isn't completely true because the first scan I had after my line was put in although they tried to canulate me they couldn't get the needle in and so used my line.

The second scan I had the doctor used my line straight away "If that's what's best for you", he explained that there is no reason why the line can't be used but many doctors don't like doing it because it is more difficult. I so wish I had had the courage to say to the doctor that I knew it could be done through my line and it was his inexperience/incompetence that meant he wasn't prepared to do it. He was so patronising & smug as well and now I have a horrible purple bruise up my arm.

After my scan I headed up to London ready for the follow up day to Breast Cancer Care's Living With Secondary Breast Cancer course. I was very nervous about going on my own on the train, I planned the journey down to the last minute detail & had back up plans if trains were changed or delayed! It went fine, I enjoyed having a couple of hours totally to myself to read & write.

I spent the evening & overnight with friends which was lovely - again an 'all me' treat. The Wednesday was a bit of a shock, we woke up to thick snow! The trains were chaos - but because of my careful planning I knew what I was doing & managed to get myself to central London - something many Londoners didn't even manage!

The course was great, it was good to meet up with the ladies again and we have agreed to keep in touch which will be nice. It is so good to hear the experiences and feelings of other women in my situation. I have met people with cancer, I have met women with breast cancer but I had never met women with a terminal diagnosis before and it was just so comforting to know that my weird feelings & thoughts are actually quite common for someone in my situation. The day was very emotional, we all cried at some point but that was fine (refreshing in fact), and we were also given lots of useful information. A very valuable day.

Getting home was interesting - my ticket was from Clapham Junction and there were no trains going to Clapham! I ended up on a train from Waterloo direct to Bournemouth & earlier than the one I had booked so that ended up being better. I got home exhausted but buzzing with pride at my achievement and full of comfort and peace from the course.

To top my week off I then booked our family break to Eurodisney - we go next week! I have never done anything so impulsive before and we are all very very excited. I need to think about packing now.