ENGLAND may not have produced much of a performance at football so far but we’ve shown we’re close to the world’s best at one thing. Grumbling.

Still, with our rugby players beating the Aussies and all the sunshine, there are reasons to be cheerful. So let’s look on the positive side. Since that woeful display against Algeria, the endless football grumbles have drowned out all sound of people whinging about: tailgate twits; pay toilets; swots who say they haven’t done any work before exams; CDs not put back in their cases; gum; over-packaging; colleagues who nick your yellow stickies; the price of a pint; foghorns using mobiles; the timer on computer screens; John McCririck; drivers who don’t show thanks when you let them out; thin people complaining about being fat; passengers who put their bags on the seat next to them on crowded trains; people who take the seat next to you on empty trains; Big Brother; fag ends on streets; people on planes and coaches who kick the back of your seat; music that’s played while you wait for your call to be answered; people who say “Enjoy”; coughers not covering their mouths; Anne Robinson; dog-owners who don’t use scoops; the absence of useful roadsigns; over-filled paper files; Oscar winners’ speeches; MPs complaining about crackdowns on expenses; and sports commentators stating the blinking obvious.

I’d go on but, as you can tell, I’m not one to gripe. So, are the English the world’s best moaning minnies? Perhaps. But I reckon Andy Murray could give us a run for our money.