CALLING all you “resting” female TV presenters out there... if you are wondering why your phone has gone quieter than the France supporters, the answer could well lie in your hair.

If you are blonde – traditionally the favoured shade of all televisual totty – then I suggest it’s time you reassess those golden locks and consider an urgent trip to your nearest salon for a complete colour change, because it appears that when it comes to TV fluffsters these days, the way to get ahead is to get a head full of dark, glossy hair.

Take Davina McCall (I wish someone would, etc, etc).

She is just the tip of the iceberg.

I mean, the woman has been earning a fortune for years merely by shouting a lot, pulling silly faces and saying “bless” to camera.

I’ll tell you why – she has got a very shiny, brunette barnet.

You may scoff at my theory and you may say that one Garnier Nutrisse advert does not a success make, but she’s done loads of those, talking tenderly on the blower to that make-believe mother of hers.

The dark hair thing took on a whole new momentum when it was revealed this week that the sugar tongs are out at weekly breakfast show, GMTV (short for Get Me the Valium) after the shock announcement that uber-brunette Christine Bleakley, late of The One Show, will be gracing the famous sofa of soporifity any time soon, flicking her super-glossy mane in the role of leading lady.

This means the sidelining of the long-suffering/insufferable (delete as desired) Kate Garraway and Emma Crosby, who are blondes and who will simply become Bleakley’s hand maidens.

Garraway and Crosby are journalists, Bleakely is not.

You see where I’m coming from here?

More proof?

Also over at GMTV Penny Smith, blonde, has got the boot, while Lorraine Kelly, raven-haired, is to get a shiny new contract.

Smith is no Paxman, but she can hold her own with the highest politicians, including prime ministers, and give them a good grilling when needed.

Kelly just simpers at all her guests who are mainly people with strange growths and has-been pop stars (speaking of which, Lee Ryan’s rendition of his new single on Wednesday’s show was so earth-shatteringly awful, worse than the worst BGT contestant, it was entertaining and worth YouTubing) telling them how lovely/clever/talented they are and, by the way, where did they get those fab shoes?

Andrea McLean has taken over Loose Women and which Spice Girl is still standing, albeit on a pair of very spindly pins?

But of course, Lee Ryan’s hilarious performance on brekkie telly wasn’t the most memorable thing about Wednesday, was it?

At 3pm all of England switched on for the big World Cup match (BBC1) – England v Slovenia – and at 3.23pm, a collective sigh of relief could be heard from windows and open patio doors across the land as Jermain Defoe saved the day with the only goal of the game and the one that means everybody, my husband included, will be in a great mood all weekend.

I am Scottish (yes, really), and when I was expecting our first child my husband wondered if they would grow up supporting England or Scotland.

That day I made a momentous decision, and decreed that any children we were blessed with should support England as I did not want them to go through the years of pain and suffering my dad, my sisters and I have had to endure.

Come Sunday, let’s hope I called it right.