OFTEN famous people’s lives seem a world apart so it was oddly reassuring, a few years ago, when Sir Alex Ferguson, stopped by police for driving on a hard shoulder, said he had the runs and was trying to find a toilet.

It’s not something you’d make up. What is equally interesting is how, since Dorset launched its No Excuse campaign in 2010, drivers have continued to come up with… excuses.

The grim news is that no fewer than 20,000 motoring offences have been processed since the campaign began, showing how many of us still need educating when it comes to driving.

But it also says something about the indomitable British spirit that people still doggedly put forward explanations to excuse breaking the law.

Like the driver who told Dorset police he was using his mobile because his wife was calling to remind him to buy a cucumber. Did he think the police would say: “Fair enough, sir. That’s perfectly understandable”?

Or the woman who hadn’t got her seat belt on because she didn’t want to smudge her spray tan. Was she expecting the officer to say: “Of course, madam, you’ve got your priorities right.”

It wasn’t an excuse offered in Dorset but I’ve always liked the one by the driver who told police he was speeding because he was trying to catch another police car in front to tell them their tail light wasn’t working. Good try.

And then there’s the driver who was thrilled when told he’d got a ticket and three points.

Excitedly, he asked what he was saving the points for.

And the officer replied that when he collected 12 he would get a bicycle.