LOSING a loved one is a devastating experience. Feelings of shock, anger and guilt are just a handful of emotions felt during the difficult mourning period – which for many never really ends.
But while life can never be the same again, a group of widows in Christchurch have found a way to help cope with the pain of losing their husbands.
The New Horizons group for widows meets once a week on Tuesdays at Christchurch Baptist Church in Bargates.
And while their individual bereavement is not the main topic of conversation, it is this social setting that helps ease the isolation and anguish felt after losing their husbands.
Run by the enthusiastic Betty Hope, who lost her own husband Frank three years ago, the ladies, of whom there are between 12-18 a week, enjoy a variety of activities every week.
From Tai Chi to talks from different speakers, outings and lunches, the ladies have bonded as one group since New Horizons began in January.
Some of the group suffered the loss of their husband years ago but for others it has only been months or even weeks.
Betty Hope said: “I love my club so much but not a lot of people know we’re here.
“It’s a very positive place and everyone is so friendly.
“It is all about support, love and companionship and ultimately it is their club – I’m just here for them.”
Thea Shaw, 69, said: “We don’t really talk about our losses. Of course that is what bonds us but this is a positive group.
“We are all sensitive to what others are going through, but you could say we are forward looking. We all know people that live in the past and it isn’t healthy.
“You still have a life to live.”
Betty Smith, 80, from Bransgore, only lost her husband seven weeks ago.
She said: “I felt anxious and depressed and I was really afraid to come to the group and have to walk in on my own. I was married for 60 years and always had my husband to go to new places with me.
“Coming every Tuesday has helped me, The entertainment they provide cheers me up. I don’t always want to talk about how sad I am. I can leave the doom and gloom at home.”
She added: “When my freezer broke over the weekend I didn't know what to do, it was all too much, I just felt the tears starting, but the ladies here have helped me and they have given me names of reliable workmen.”
The group meets on Tuesday from 10.30am - 12.30pm at Christchurch Baptist Church Hall.
Contact Betty Hope for more information about the club, on 01425 674050.
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