SITTING down in anticipation of a nice, entertaining evening watching TV with a huge takeaway on my lap and what do they serve up?

Embarrassing Fat Bodies on Channel 4, that’s what.

There were huge mounds of flesh being probed and prodded by the medical experts, led by Dr Christian, who sported what looked like deckchair canvases as shirts.

Facts kept pinging up onto the screen on how much the obesity epidemic was costing us. But somehow the maths appeared to go wrong.

One fact said if we don’t change our ways then we will be forking out £45bn per year by 2050.

But another said we pay £65bn a year to the diet industry to lose weight. So by my reckoning we are £20bn up on the deal.

The whole programme was stomach-churning stuff, to say the least.

But there were some heart-warming tales of people undergoing major surgery to improve their body shape and ultimately, their lives.

Admittedly, I could have done without seeing the gory details of the operations in close-up while stuffing my face.

At the end of it, we probably should all have turned it off and gone out on a healthy walk, but the lure of seeing the poor guy whose stomach virtually reached the ground proved too strong a draw.

Incidentally, his weight gain was caused by steroid medication to treat his asthma and he had put on 12.5 stone in nine months.

The results following surgery were amazing, as they were for all those taking part.

Less amazing was the England football team.

So a fulsome tribute should be paid to the valiant few who watched the dismal display against Switzerland on ITV1 rather than enjoy a sunny Saturday evening.

The experts’ panel featured Gareth ‘charisma’ Southgate, who looked as uncomfortable as England’s back four facing a free-kick.

It felt like most of the England players and the panel wanted to be on a beach and well before the end of the programme, so did we.

Watching England in recent years has been like seeing a competitive, but unpredictable, offspring eventually losing out to worthy winners in a talent contest.

And so following the footie was the talent show, Britain’s Got Talent, also on ITV1.

This was the final and Jai “shakes like a leaf, sings like Josh Groban” McDowall won.

The favourite, 12-year-old Ronan Parke, finished as runner-up, but probably wasn’t helped in his quest for glory by Louis Walsh, who trumpeted his case, even though he was in the audience and not on the panel. Both singers were good though and deserved their success.

And the result saved us all from ‘dad dancer’– or should that be ‘granddad dancer?’ – 53-year-old telecoms engineer Steven Hall.

Let’s face it, if he had been victorious it would have inspired 1,000 copycats for the next series.

I have to admit most of the acts were entertaining and saved me from channel hopping.

So I missed out on Discovery Channel’s Fatal Attractions about a man who was killed by a whitetail buck he kept as a pet when he entered the enclosure during the rutting season.

A lucky escape, I think you’ll agree.