THEY were raped, beaten and abused, but now, facing the future with hope, four women have told the Echo about the course that helped change their lives.

Julie, a 40-year-old professional from Bournemouth, endured years of put-downs and humiliation from the husband who liked to present a perfect face to the outside world.

“I was a complete and utter wreck,” she said.

“He once ignored me for three weeks. It was character assassination. I think his motivation was to make me so weak and powerless I wouldn’t leave.”

When she did get the courage to tell him she was leaving, he raped her.

Teresa, a 65-year-old from Bournemouth, was happily married.

He died, then she found a new partner, but he bullied her with insults and sexual demands.

“I was totally unprepared because my own husband had been a beautiful man,” she said.

Phoenix, a 40-year-old from Bournemouth, was twice strangled by a drug addict partner who lied and stole from her.

Debbie, a 35-year-old from Bournemouth, had a controlling husband who tried to make her dependent on him by constantly telling her how insecure she was.

Then he tried to strangle her, and she was saved by her daughter hearing the noise and walking in.

These women’s harrowing experiences could have broken them – but they didn’t.

They are the most recent graduates of the 14-week ‘Pattern Changing’ course at Spring-bourne Family Centre.

The ladies taking part learn to spot the signs of controlling and abusive men, how to be assertive, and the emphasis is on having positive relationships with men.

Phoenix said: “If a relationship is making you feel pain, confused, or anything negative, something isn’t right. Try the course – it might just save your life.”

“My friends say how much better I look – I am not wearing misery in my face.”

For Julie it has been cathartic.

“It has removed some of the pain from the situation,” she said. “Talking to other women in the same situation removes some of the isolation and secrecy.”

Debbie had spent almost her entire life with her husband and is a bit wary about future relationships.

She said: “I think before the course I would always be thinking it was me that had done wrong. It has helped me realise that it wasn’t me – it was a big breakthrough.

“It will still take time to heal.”

Teresa, a gentle, academic lady has learned how to be assertive in a calm way – all her friends have noticed the change.

“It’s a wonderful course,” she said. “I can’t speak highly enough about it.”