FOLLOWING on from the disastrous financial downturn caused by winning the last war, an infectious disease HSE1 spread out simultaneously from the UK and the USA and ravaged the northern hemisphere in the late ’70s to early ’90s under the generic name “Global Warming”, linked possibly to BSE.

Like all infectious diseases that generate a manic uncontrollable excitement in the patient they quickly spread like wildfire through populations but usually the quicker they spread the quicker they burn out. However, an offspring has recently transmuted itself into a far darker strain than its parent and goes under the new and insidious generic name “Climate Change”.

This new varient HSP1 while seemingly milder in effects is similar to the common cold virus in that there is no obvious cure since the methods of infection are both opposite yet the same.

One sniff of a BBQ summer and the patient is coerced into thinking HSP1 is real and one snuffle of a snowy winter is again we are told the same proof.

This disease so aggressively latched on to by quack therapies and therapists advocating treatment using both fire, air and water as cures could well continue for another generation but like all expensive quack cures the patients financial resources will long be exhausted before a real cure HCS: Homo Common Sensicus is restored and the quackery exposed.

Thus in so short a time as 100 years can a country that once controlled 25 per cent of the world’s population be reduced to beggary.

DOUGLAS MILLS, Fraser Road, Poole